Wheat-Free + Meat-Free = Homicidal Me

Ok, not the kind of homicide perpetuated against humans. No, I mean the Pavlovian sounds my salivary glands make every time Chutney the cat slinks by. I have fallen that low. Months of sporadic adherence to the anti-Christ of all things named "Franks," "Ham," and "Turducken" has made me hot for my cat's meaty thighs. I'm a carnivore at heart. Even a reluctant cannibal, if the circumstances warranted the forbidden bloodlust. I just have to face it. Rice noodle Mac & Cheese with Tofu bits disguised as Pork Pig doesn't float my culinary boat. I like the sound of teeth ripping through flesh. Not my own - yet.