Do You Believe in Magic?

I do.  I now fit comfortably in a pair of jeans that used to restrict the blood flood to my extremities less than four months ago.  Magic, you say?  OptiFast magic!  It's happening.  I'm melting.  Kinda like the wicked witch - without the broom and green makeup.  Life is looking up!

Willy Wonka Can Kiss My One Pound Heavier Ass

Yes - I gained 1.3 pounds last week - and it's all Willy Wonka's fault.  Not that he's actually a person or anything (even I know that).  But the mere fact I watched the original movie (the one with Gene Wilder) more times than I care to share and became obsessed with the chocolate river and those edible gummy plants (the ones with the whipped cream middles), is enough to blame that fictional character on my 1.3 pound weight gain last week.  Sounds irrational, doesn't it?  Well, whoop-de-do, it's my pity party and I can lie if I want to.  I'd love to eat a real Wonka Bar right now, not the waxy ones Nestle now manufactures.  I'm done crying over spilt weight gain.  Back to exercising!

Strangely Overcome By Some Type of Blog Flu...

I'm still here, munching on whatever has zero calories and expands to the size of a newborn baby in my stomach (broccoli and cauliflower - hello).  Every day (almost), I make a pilgrimage to the elliptical machine and watch as my thighs twinge in pain. It says I climb the virtual Alps every day,  but I always seem to end up in the same place.  My weight loss is gradual and steady.  I'm seeing results and I'm liking them.  Someday, however, I will have to return to "normal" food (i.e. no more OptiFast soup every night).  This is frightening to me.  I have a "routine" now and it doesn't include donuts.  Please pray for me...and the donuts.  :-)  

One is the Loneliest Number...

Only lost one friggin' pound last week.  My body is starting to rebel.  It likes my voluptuous breasts and padded backside.  It's resisting my plans and I can feel it.  Every ounce lost is an ounce fought for.  I'm thinner for sure but I need cooperation here.  Wearing a pair of skinny jeans without lying down on the bed and inching into them like a sausage into its casing feels damn good.  But I still want to eat that sausage!!!!!

Binge Eating, Drinking and Burping....

Which one do you think I did today?  None!  Except I did sit my skinny behind down on the couch long enough to catch the last episode of Burn Notice.  Too bad about Madelyn, but at least she went out of this world doing something she loved - smoking - literally.  Anyway, back to me and my behind.  It's noticeably smaller and doesn't have as many, shall we say, lunar landing areas - barely any now.  I think I lost about 2 pounds this week and I'm starting to slither comfortably back into my smaller size clothes.  Small ass and big tits - life is good!

Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder......

...or any high content spirit that once was banned in the U.S. and several other countries.  I've been craving cocktails for several days now.  I'm not much of a drinker so this is somewhat surprising.  I'd rather consume a mimosa than a piece of cake right now - or even a shot of absinthe. 

How Much Does a German Chocolate Cake Weigh in my Belly?

I stood in the grocery store yesterday and actually contemplated this.  Sad?  You bet!  But I could have eaten the whole thing.  I didn't, though.  Just stood there with my tongue wagging and my eyes twitching.  I've always loved German chocolate since my childhood days (even though I'm Danish and Danish people still resent the Germans for occupying their lovely country during WW11).  I must have stood there like some dazed discount store mannequin for several minutes, oblivious to the fact someone accidentally had taken my shopping cart thinking it was their own.  I had to scour the store looking for a cart full of onions, celery, and broccoli.  The apologetic shopper was more than happy to relinquish it after spying the sorry contents.  I proceeded to checkout still licking my lips from my virtual encounter with sugar heaven. 

WooHoo and a Bag of Chips

I lost a little over three pounds this week!  I'm as happy as a midget in a doll house.  I survived the temptations of a wedding and opulent company dinner meeting.  What's next?  A flight to the moon?  This OptiFast diet IS WORKING.  Slow and steady - but it works.  I'm gaining muscle and losing fat and I'm starting to see the difference.  Even my ass impression on my couch cushion is shrinking.  Life is good.

Restaurant Masochism

Ok - so I attended a business dinner at a very lovely restaurant tonight.  Passed hors d'oeuvres of smoked salmon, etc.  You get my drift.  Well, I'm proud to announce I passed on the niblets and, instead, munched on a splendidly dressed salad, tender salmon, and loads of veggies.  I ignored the tinges of chocolate desire when flourless tortes and crème brulee were presented along with various sugared berries.  Suffice to say, I passed the dining masochism test and didn't even have to flog myself!! 

Starve a Cold, Feed a Wedding...

Went to a wedding this weekend.  Lovely to see extended relatives, like getting spiffed up, etc.  However, it's come to my attention that wedding cake, at its very core, is evil incarnate.  The glistening frosting, the moist strawberry filling.  It's sugar Satan on a pretty plate.  But if I have to eat the horny red man himself, a double chocolate, red velvet wedding cake will do nicely - thank you!