Yeah so, I've been absent for seven fucking months, devouring as much villainous gluten as I could get my Pillsbury dough boy fingers on. Oh and yes, I fucking loved shoving the spongy combination of yeast, flour, and salt down my eagerly widening gullet. I didn't fucking care. It made the trip down my esophagus easier by slathering a generous dollop of butter on each brick-sized piece before I crammed it in. Seven months of unbridled food debauchery. My ass begged me stop, inflating slowly like one of those cheap swimming pool flotation devices you buy at Target.
So here I am - in October - with an ass the size of a giant's gonad.
I'll keep you posted.
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