Add Two Pounds of Water Weight, Subtract Two Pounds of Fat, Add Two Pounds of Muscle and What Do You Get?

A rather disappointing 5 ounce weight gain for the week.  Now, I am certain the red velvet chocolate cheesecake slice I devoured the day before had NOTHING to do with it!!  To make fatty matters worse, I let loose a disquieting quief during my workout with the trainer.  Had my legs up in the air doing some God-awful move intended to exorcise the fatty demons from my body.  I felt the air pressure build up down (up) in my nether regions like a black hole sucking in everything in its path.  And then - "splert!"  Oh well, at least I didn't fart!