Last night I dreamt a Smurf mugged me. Left an awful blue stain on my clothes and stole the hot dog I was about to stuff into my mouth. Not just any wiener, but a Hebrew National in a freshly-made whole wheat bun, with sauerkraut, mustard, and onions. I ran after the meanie, but he disappeared into a sea of Milk of Magnesia. Now, I understand why I dreamt of food and the laxative, but a Smurf? What is this diet doing to me????
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