[insert my name] was so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
[insert my name] was so fat, she couldn't jump to a conclusion.
[insert my name] butt is so big, she got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!
Get the drift? It's not been a good day, to say the very least.
As Forrest Gump once said, "Fat is what fat does." Or something like that. 'Nuff said.
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