My Stomach - The Sensitive Cannibal

Last night my stomach bemoaned its incredibly shrinking proportions for the better part of EIGHT HOURS.  Unfortunately for me, those eight hours occurred between 10pm and 6am, when my lovely usually enjoys some beauty sleep.  I drank water - rejected outright.  I downed an OptiFast drink - turned into a gaseous cauldron of toxic fumes.  Stuffed some pita bread down my gullet - switched over to grinding and, possibly, gnashing.  Then out of the relative darkness of my bedroom, came a sound so terrifying, I thought Hell had frozen over and the horny red man himself was coming for me.  It was munching, chewing, and screaming - sort of like Jabba the Hutt at his noontime feeding.  My stomach was devouring itself.  Little piranha Pacmen savoring each tasty bit.   Needless to say, I felt justified in downing some tuna fish and a bit of carrot.  The tuna won.  :-)