What NOT to do at a Farmers Market When You're Trying to Lose Weight

(1) Attend with someone who's a size 0
(2) Caress cantaloupe melons unless you've paid for them
(3) Growl at a Crepe vendor
(4) Carry a purse overflowing with ready-to-spend cash
(5) Secretly tell yourself pupusas are baby caterpillars and, thus, have zero calories and are high in protein
(6) Convince yourself samples have negative calories
(7) Attend with a child who constantly begs you for a triple drip chocolate/banana/caramel ice cream cone