Carniwhore

No, not a vegan who has "relations" with a meat eater.  Not even someone who flirts with those bearded dwarfs at creepy sideshows.  No, carniwhore means someone, such as myself, who isn't "monogamous" to any particular meat source.  I believe we have teeth for one reason and one reason only; to tear the flesh off of some poor, unsuspecting animal (preferably grilled and smothered in barbeque sauce, of course).  Now, don't get me wrong.  I like veggies.  But veggies have no soul, no pulse, no bones.  In fact, I'd eat that plump pharmaceutical salesman in seat 34B if our flight went down over the Andes.  That's why I think I will do well on this OptiFast diet.  It allows me to exercise my inner cavewoman - but only lean mastodon allowed.